8 Cry

This one is gonna be difficult.
I can remember that the last time I cried was when my first grandma died and when I had my depression. Honestly I dunno which one came after the other. It's a big whole. And I was a crying mess.

The thing to remember is that it was back in 2005.

Since then I haven't shed a tear.

Oh yes, I once cried of laughter but it wasn't "real tears". Not those one you let fall down your face because you are sad and emotional and need to cry. They were happy tears due to a mechanic reaction of my body.

I can't even cry happy tears. Like at a wedding or in front of a sappy movie when the hero marry the belle.

I feel the tears forming behind my eyes, I shed two little tears and it's done. Two single lonely tears when I feel the tons of others that wanna be shed. I feel theù and I can't cry and I end up being frustrated and angry.

Last night Isa and I were watching "Anne of Avonlea" and when Matthew dies and all, Isa was crying and I wanted to cry because I'm such a sucker for those kind of movies and because I love Matthew and I never want him to die even if he does everytime I read the book or watch the movie. But I couldn't cry. It was just dry eyes with a total feeling of sadness. But dry eyes.

So yeah, crying. What a good thing to wish myself on the next months. I wanna cry.